Teacher Week - Sanity Savers

Day 4 of Teacher Week.

I'm linking up with Blog Hoppin' to share some tips about how I survive my life as a teacher.

I really only have one tip:

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

Seriously.

Sometimes days are so "bad" that you have to laugh just to keep from crying.

We've all had those days. (admit it)

When it seems like one thing after another just keeps happening. 

Like we can't catch a break.

It was a day like this not too long ago that I sat down and wrote this story.

Please take the time to read it.

I really think many teachers will be able to relate.

If You Give a Teacher an Apple…

Written by: K. Coker

If you give a teacher an apple,

She’ll want to write you a thank you note for it.

As she walks to her desk to find a pen,

She sees a stack of papers she keeps meaning to file

So she sets the apple on her desk and picks up the stack of papers.

She starts to open the filing cabinet,

But she notices a pile of dirt on the floor

So she goes to find a broom to sweep it up.

On her way to get the broom,

She knocks over a chair that wasn’t stacked properly and it lands on her foot

So she hops around waiting for the pain to subside.

Once her foot feels better, she puts the chair back onto the desk

But then she notices three other chairs that were not put away

So she puts them up too.

The teacher heads toward the broom again,

But the morning bell rings and her students start to arrive

So she stops to greet them at the door.

The students enter the classroom in a good mood,

But they are talking loudly to their friends

So the teacher rings the bell and points to the CHAMPS chart on the wall.

And the students settle down to eat a nice breakfast of graham crackers, apples and milk.

While carrying their mess to the trash can, lots of milk is spilled

The teacher needs to find a rag to clean it up, but she has no clean rags.

So she grabs some napkins instead.

The teacher returns to the mess, but she sees that the crackers have been dropped onto the floor

And stepped on 100 times

So the teacher demands that all of the students help clean up.

Next the teacher takes attendance and tries to start the lesson

But the announcements come on while she is speaking

So she stops and says the pledge of allegiance with the students (and is grateful for at least one moment of silence).

After the morning announcements are over, the teacher begins the lesson…

Again.

But when she asks the students to get out their homework, seven of them have an excuse for why they don’t have it done.

So she marks them down for detention and hopes they will finish their work then.

During detention, those same students show up without their papers or pencils.

But the teacher wasn’t born yesterday

And she quickly provides them with a new copy and sends them to work.

The teacher walks her class to the cafeteria for lunch

But when they get there, one of her students remembers they left their lunch in the classroom

So the teacher has to walk back with them to unlock the door

The teacher takes her class to PE, grateful for a break,

But then she realizes she is supposed to be in a meeting

So she hurries toward the conference room without stopping to use the bathroom.

She gets to the meeting on time

But the five minute meeting ends up taking her entire planning time

So the teacher has to speed walk to get to the gym to pick up her students.

On the way back to class, one of the boys tells her he doesn’t feel well

But while she is writing him a pass to the nurse, he throws up all over his desk

So the teacher has to call the janitor.

The janitor cleans up the mess

But now the students are rowdy and distracted

So the teacher makes them “practice” being quiet for five minutes.

She is able to teach the next lesson,

But when she checks for understanding the students only give her blank stares

So she makes a note to reteach the same concept the next day.

At the end of the day, the students start to pack to go home

But they have already forgotten how to be quiet

So the teacher has to yell to get their attention

The students finally get lined up in order to walk to the buses

But it starts to thunderstorm

So the principal announces that they will need to do a rain route dismissal

The teacher plays a game with her students to keep them busy while they wait for their bus to be called

But another announcement informs them that there are three late buses

So the teacher calls her husband to tell him she will be later than she planned.

As she is hanging up the phone, she hears two students yelling at each other in the back of the room

So she rushes to referee.

As she runs, she sees that someone has written with marker all over the counter top.

Once the fight is stopped, the teacher searches for supplies to remove the marker

While looking for another cleaning rag, the phone rings.

It’s a parent of one of her students who wants to know why her child is getting a bad grade in science.

So the teacher patiently explains that the students hasn’t turned in any work for the entire quarter.

The parent is upset and wants the grade changed

But the teacher offers to give the student an opportunity to earn some extra credit

So she has to add one more thing to her mental to-do list.

When the last three buses arrive, the teacher starts to pack her bag

But she realizes that she hasn’t eaten anything all day

So she reaches to grab the apple off her desk.

And when she picks it up,

She remembers she still needs to write a thank you note

And for that she will need to find a pen…

I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to "funny school memes" because some nights I need to read through them and remember not to take all of it too seriously. Feel free to check it out.
                Follow iTeachSTEM's board School Memes on Pinterest.    

One last thing.

I ALWAYS keep an emergency stash of chocolate...

And antacids...

(Notice the bottle is almost empty?)

Because some days chocolate will fix things, and some days it takes something stronger.

Good luck this year, my dear teacher friends!